...I can see where I am going."
I thought I'd make use of my the free journal skin. I'll feature some deviations I like in the end. I wouldn't say the following is lifechanging, but I find it very interesting. I got a D on my AP Chemistry test, which is my first D. Surpsingly, I felt such relief when I got my test back because... the world didn't end, and I, all of the sudden, did not become a bad person. I cried when I got home because I realized I probably won't get an A in the class this semester. Then, I realized that the world won't end because of that either.

This applies to what I've been feeling overall... I think that as we grow up, we begin to understand that life isn't a staircase, in which the only way to go is up at an even pace, and that's it actually consists of running blindfolded through a field of tall grass at night. That's what I felt like inside. Here's something more interesting - I'm happy that it is this way. I'm happy that everything is overwhelming, wild, complicated, and beautiful at the same time.

I came home sick today. I finished a huge Honors English project/presentation for One Flew Over the Cuckoo's nest and then shut down completely. I'm still feeling very nauesous at times, and I think my body is trying to show me I need to relax. That's what I'm doing this break. I'll finally finish Grapes of Wrath, practice guitar, go other places...

I saw Where the Wild Things Are. I recommend you go see that movie. It was seriously amazing. It captured so much of what I've been thinking about, and it has so much great symbolism. Basically, here is what I saw in that movie.
1. You can't run from yourself. No matter how much you rebel or change your situation, you're still you. You can't hide anything.
2. Life has no heroes. Everybody breaks down, everybody is annoying, imperfect, and hard to handle. We love and choose to deal with those people anyway.
3. There was a scene in the movie, when Max was running in his animal suit on a street, I felt like that captured a feeling that I've been rambling about on and on and on lately. That desperate hopeful "run wherever to catch what you don't know but want badly" feeling.

Another thing I want to mention... Have you guys thought that absolutely everybody on earth has problems, that everybody thinks and worries before they go to sleep, that very many people don't undestand each other but want to... Some people share and some simply don't.

It's raining. A very fat squirrel is looking at me through the window. =]

Lyrics of the day
"So what if nothing is safe,
So what if no one is saved,
No matter how sweet,
No matter how brave,
What if each to his own lonely grave,
I don't want to live without you."